I quit...

It was the 6th of December. I was fiddling with the pen in my hand. I was confused in my head, not sure whether the drastic measure that I was going to opt for, called for a rethink. All kinds of advices were pouring in, from everyone who cared for me. I wasn't too sure what to take note of and what to discard.
That's when I came upon this piece of shit I had scribbled, rather typed, during my early days (first couple of weeks) in TCS, Chennai. It seemed a real long time since then, and things definitely hadn't got any better...



'The worst times are those when you have all the time in the world at your disposal, you have a sea full of ideas floating in your head, but when you sit down to pen them down, er, well in modern terminologies, to type them down, the words just seem to have drowned in that sea of thoughts and nothing seems to surface to your fingertips. At this moment in time, I am face to face with one of those times. I, as per the speculations and au contraire to all my aspirations am an employee of TCS. Well, of the 22 years of sunrises that I have managed to miss to wake up to, not one of them has been, dreaming about sitting in an air conditioned room, working on a machine that almost thinks, talking to some part of it in a language that my heart fails and doesn’t care to understand and my head just dares to; and sitting surrounded by men and women who are least considerate about my existence and who are mocking it by talking in a language my head just can’t understand and my heart yearns to. My time’s up. No, don’t rush to dial 911, I meant, my time at work is up. It’s past 6 pm and there’s no one who can pin me down to this seat which is so bored of me. No, it won’t prick my conscience either if I pick my bag and just walk out of this office. But there’s a small problem. There’s no place my feet can walk to, both where they are welcome and not so reluctant to go to. I am feeling like a guy who is stranded in the middle of an ocean, who definitely knows how to swim, but can't see one solid thing apart from the moon and the stars, he can swim up to. What do I do? Conserve every ounce of energy I got; staring at the stars, lying in wait, for one of them to fall , lying in wait for someone to rescue me from the middle of nowhere...
Or do I swim in which so ever direction my heart takes me. I maybe heading in a direction away from the shore, I may get so tired swimming, that I may not last till someone finally finds me.
What do I do?'


Sometimes words that seem nothing more than insane babble at one point of time, start making a lot of sense at some other point of time. Words that never were written to mean a thing. Words, that when read, make everything clear, at some other point in time.
Guess, everything makes sense, when the head speaks the language of the heart.

By the way, on the 6th of December, 2007 I chose to swim. Don't know where to, don’t know what for, but away from the middle of nowhere....